Sonicing my husband into acceptance.

Last night, I was a good wife.

I introduced my husband to a new show, “The Colony”. I made spaghetti and meatballs for dinner with garlic bread. I got my husband a beer when he asked for one. I carefully and lovingly put the leftovers in a plastic container that my husband could take to work for his lunch.

This morning, I was a good wife.

After asking my husband last night to wake me up so I could have the car today, I woke up without being grumpy. When my husband was in the shower, I did not bang on the door to scare him like I did the other day (man, that was a really fun morning, too). I agreed to wash his uniforms while he was at work, since he forgot to do it last night. I made him breakfast.

While he was eating breakfast, I poked around on Pinterest, to see what was newly pinned.

I found gloriousness pinned. Awesome, amazing glory pinned in the form of a sonic-freaking-screwdriver Wii remote. I clicked. It wasn’t just a Wii remote, y’all. It was a SONIC SCREWDRIVER Wii remote. WITH A DOCTOR WHO GAME.

Let that sink in.

A Doctor Who game. Sonic screwdriver remote. I’m pretty sure it makes “the noise” too.

All at once, all the fun I was going to have with this flash in my head.

I would become a female reincarnation of the Doctor. I would put on a bow tie and wave my sonic screwdriver at the TV and do all sorts of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff and save the world on an hourly basis.

My TV would turn into my own personal Tardis, zooming me around all of time and space. I’d get to yell out things like, “Come along, Pond!”

Basically, my life was going to be awesome.

My life was going to be complete.

Being a good wife, I wanted to share my joy with the Bagpiper — who, I would like to add has FINALLY started getting into Doctor Who. He started with series five (not one, like I want him too, but we’ll get there), and he’s really enjoying it.

So I do the only thing possible at this point. I turn around and squee, “OMG OMG OMG!”

Bagpiper: “What?”

Me: “There’s a sonic screwdriver Wii remote. WITH a game! I must have!”

At this point, I’m already looking around for my wallet and debit card.

And then, tragedy strikes my happy marriage.

My reaction:

I didn’t understand. Like, I really didn’t. I must have misheard him. Surely. I tell him again exactly what it is. Sonic screwdriver. Doctor Who game. Sonic screwdriver remote. Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff.

He was really saying no to this. After all the goodness of my wifeyness in the past 24 hours, he was saying no to me. He was saying no to our unborn child. Because surely, unborn baby would feel mommy’s euphoria in playing such a magical game.

It was time to take some drastic measures. I did sad panda face mixed with puppy eyes. I wanted him to know I was hurt. Emotionally scarred, even. I reminded him of the good things I’d done, like make him the breakfast he was enjoying.

I told him that I would play because it game with a sonic screwdriver. How could I not play?

I begged.

I pleaded.

I had to make him see that this was important.

He still was not budging on the issue.

I was flabbergasted.

Freaking flabbergasted.

What happened to my husband?

The one that loves me? The one that wants me to be happy? The one who re-enlisted into the military to provide for his family.

Doctor Who game with sonic screwdriver falls under the “providing for you family” umbrella. It’s even under “necessities”, just below “roof over your head” and just above “groceries”.

I tried one more time.

He had to say yes. My husband is a nice, loving, caring man.

He could say no to anything else, but not this. I was willing to give up yarn buying for a week! Book buying for a day! Anything to make him say yes.

But no.

Clearly, I did not marry the romance hero I thought. My kilt-wearing, bagpipe playing Marine husband was morphing into a Cyberman, deleting all my requests for this game and all my chances of happiness.

He became an Evil Husband of Doom.

So, I sat quietly for a minute, thinking of what to do next.

I came up with the perfect and most flawless of counter-arguments.

“It comes with a sonic screwdriver. So really, all your “reasons” are invalid. INVALID, I SAY.”

If I had a pair of gloves, I would have slapped him with them as if I were challenging him to a duel. Because I was challenging him. There is no argument better than “It comes with a sonic screwdriver.”

I had won. I knew it. And he knew it.

But he just rolled his eyes as if it were nothing and went back to his coffee.

Clearly, I have to play hard ball.

For now, I’ve “let the matter go”. My dog arrives tomorrow night, so it’s not like I would play the game this weekend anyway. Even if my dog wasn’t arriving tomorrow, mail takes like two weeks to reach me, so it’d be awhile before I could play anyway.

But mark my words…I will order this game and get the sonic screwdriver. I will be the female reincarnation of the Doctor and I will do wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff. Instead of saying, “Come along, Pond!” I will say, “Come along, Sushi!” because my dog will be here and she will be my companion, because clearly my “loving” husband has no desire to fill this roll.

And when the game arrives and my dreams are fulfilled, he won’t be able to do anything about it. Because games are like DVDs. Once you rip off the plastic wrapping you cannot return it. He will simply have to sigh and accept that I won. And if he can’t, then I’ll just sonic him into acceptance.

Or silence.

Whichever.

Bwahahaha!

Take that, husband.

You know, I bet Rory would have given Amy the game without all this fuss.

ETA: Somehow, I’ve gotten into my head that if I can get 100+ people to comment on this blog post, each comment will equal $1 my husband will have to put forth toward the purchase of this game.

I’m not sure if this will really work, but it’s worth a shot. Help a girl, out…comment. Share. Tell your friends to comment. Show my husband all the reasons that having this game is necessary.

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40 responses

  1. First, OMG I love you! And where the hell did you find a freaking DR WHO MY LITTLE PONY?????

    Second, I so need that game. Thank god I don’t have an Evil Husband of Doom. 😛

    October 20, 2011 at 9:01 am

    • Now Sid, you can’t buy that thing either. You are moving soon, and need to save all your pennies, plus, you really do want to make Alice cry, don’t you! I mean, how fair is it that YOU have the Sonic remote Wii thing, and she does not?

      Of course, Alice could use that as further leverage. “But Bagpiper – SID HAS ONE! THAT’S NOT FAIR!!!!!”

      Hmmm, that might actually work! SID! Buy one – and I’ll be right over to play too!

      October 20, 2011 at 9:13 am

      • You raise a good point. Sid, go get this game so I can use you as a selling point.

        October 20, 2011 at 10:36 am

    • What? You mean you don’t know that the 12 incarnation of the Doctor is a pony? His name is Doctor Whooves. LOL

      October 20, 2011 at 10:36 am

  2. I don’t even watch Dr. Who anymore and I want that game.

    October 20, 2011 at 9:18 am

  3. I watch it. And I’m insanely hateful of those people with Wii’s right now. GET IT FOR HER. Otherwise? Daleks. Weeping Angels. Cybermen. These things will hunt you. Unless you have a sonic screwdriver. Truth. Swear.

    October 20, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    • Yes! Thank you!

      I mean, if my husband is going to be replaced by an evil Cyberman, then it’s only fair that I have a sonic screwdriver to fight him with. Maybe I can get one of the the Silence to make him forget that he said no…

      October 20, 2011 at 12:56 pm

  4. Rory totally would. Because no one is more awesome than Rory. No one.

    October 20, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    • /sigh. If only I had married the Last Centurion instead of the Bagpiper…

      October 20, 2011 at 12:58 pm

  5. I’m more a Sims girl but I hope this comment helps you get your stuff. Tell your husband he should never deny a pregnant woman anything. Ever.

    October 20, 2011 at 6:32 pm

    • Ooh, I love the Sims too, but I can’t pass up the chance to have a sonic screwdriver. But you’re right — he should not deny his pregnant wife. My happiness is the baby’s happiness. At least for another 8 weeks!

      October 20, 2011 at 6:33 pm

      • Amanda D

        Oh, your happiness is the baby’s happiness for the next 18 years minimum. My mom always says, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy!” Bagpiper will learn this.

        October 20, 2011 at 7:46 pm

  6. I’m old enough to be your mother, and I want the game with the sonic screwdriver! I think the girl giving Bagpiper a daughter ought to have the things she wants!

    October 20, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    • Bwahahaha! It’s cool, I got my mom hooked on Doctor Who…she’d want this game if she had a Wii!

      October 20, 2011 at 6:39 pm

  7. Best post ever! Bagpiper really should give in to good wife’s demands. A happy marriage isn’t about compromise. Happy wifey = happy marriage.

    Oh oh! Wanna know what works for me? Find something that’s been bothering you and tearfully ‘fess up with the bagpiper that you’re having issues but you don’t want him to feel bad about it or do anything that you’ll find a way to make it all work out. Bagpiper is going to feel so helpless and will want to do ANYTHING to make you feel better.

    That’s how I got a crap ton of Magic booster packs. heh heh

    October 20, 2011 at 10:24 pm

    • A good plan, but I’m probably going to give it a few weeks. Let him forget, then tell him I need some money in my account…then I’ll buy the game with said money…and it’ll be two weeks before it arrives and he figures it out..and by then it’ll be TOO LATE. Bwahahah!

      October 20, 2011 at 11:27 pm

  8. Allons-y!

    You need this game.

    Obviously.

    Hope he caves.

    October 20, 2011 at 10:46 pm

    • Haha! Thank you!

      I really think my best bet is to “ignore” the situation for a little while and just order the game when he forgets. 😛

      October 20, 2011 at 11:27 pm

  9. I still watch Doctor Who!!! Especially the old ones! I want the game, too! I wish you Godspeed in your quest!

    October 20, 2011 at 11:29 pm

  10. OMG, Bagpiper. Buy your wife the game. Happiness has no price. Sheesh!

    October 20, 2011 at 11:33 pm

  11. Best. Post. Ever. LOL. :wiping tears: Seriously Alice.

    Sonic Screwdriver says it all! Now I want one and I hardly ever, ever, play the Wii. Tell Bagpiper it’s a deal, I mean a game AND a sonic remote…awesomesauce 🙂

    Good luck reaching 100 comments. (Oh, wait. 100 unique comments or can I stack the numbers in your favor by commenting multiple times?)

    October 21, 2011 at 1:21 am

  12. I shall summon my followers and command this to comment! This is TOTALLY a worthy endeavor!

    October 21, 2011 at 1:36 am

    • Bwahahah! Thank you, Beth! Yes! Send your minions to comment!

      October 21, 2011 at 6:49 am

  13. xDDDDDDD

    Beth Revis sent me here, and I’m glad she did! that was hilarious!

    October 21, 2011 at 1:41 am

  14. I’m commenting in solidarity, and because I LOVE the ponies in this post ^_^ I’m a bit of a ponyholic.

    Good luck getting the game AND screwdriver!

    October 21, 2011 at 1:43 am

  15. LURVE this post. I don’t normally comment on ANYTHING, but I had to this time. Doesn’t he know the old adage that “if the wife isn’t happy, no one is”?! Bagpiper needs to hurry up and let you have that game/sonic screwdriver/remote. I mean, what kind of Dr. Who fan would you be if you DIDN’T get that. He’s going to make you the laughing stock of the Dr. Who fandom, because everyone will have one and YOU won’t. 😥 That’s so not fair. And don’t you let him use that old adage about people jumping off a cliff, of course we wouldn’t jump off a cliff. How silly would that be? 🙂

    October 21, 2011 at 2:34 am

  16. Lindsay

    Brilly. Please tell me you’ll be posting pictures when the game arrives. I look forward to both the excitement of the game/defeat of your loving husband.

    October 21, 2011 at 3:07 am

  17. Jesso

    Bagpiper needs to come to his senses. For reals.

    October 21, 2011 at 5:02 am

  18. Iknit2purl2

    You need that game!

    October 21, 2011 at 7:12 am

  19. Tell him that if they ever come out with an Amy Pond Wii remote that he can get it. Maybe that along with the 100 comments will win him over. Good luck!

    October 21, 2011 at 7:16 am

    • It might be hypocritical for me to say this, but if there is an Amy Pond remote, I don’t think I want him to have it. >.>

      October 21, 2011 at 7:22 am

  20. Kate

    She’s carrying your baby. There are far more ridiculous things she could want than a video game. Buy the game!!

    I’m buying the new Zelda game next month even though I can’t beat the bad guys without my brothers help. And that’s even more ridiculous!

    October 21, 2011 at 7:19 am

    • That’s his “big” argument, Kate. I begged for the Harry Potter Wii game, and I found it too hard (even with setting it on “easy”) so I stopped playing. IN MY DEFENSE, however, HE found it hard too and HE doesn’t play it either (OK, he’s not the HP fanatic that I am either, but still).

      So he seems to think now that ALL games will have this same effect, and clearly, this is DIFFERENT because Doctor Who comes with a SONIC SCREWDRIVER. Had Harry Potter come with a WAND, I’m sure I would have found it easier to play.

      Anyway. Yea.

      October 21, 2011 at 7:22 am

  21. Bagpiper

    Ok Ok Ok! Damn if you’re all going to be that persistent on it. I will get the Dr. Who game (with the sonic screwdriver). However, I’m still right.

    But the real reason I’m going along with it is because I want to get Batman Arkham City. I would be pretty cruel if I said, “NO! you can ‘t have the Dr. Who game!” then turn around and buy the new Batman game, lol

    October 21, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    • Now that’s a good Bagpiper. And no longer the Husband of Doom.

      October 21, 2011 at 8:48 pm

  22. I can get behind this reasoning Bagpiper. You are a good husband. ❤

    October 21, 2011 at 9:13 pm

  23. Pingback: I knew he’d cave in eventually. « adorably alice

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