Social Media Monday: You have to actually TALK to people.

So, a pretty short post today, because it’s 10:30pm for me and I’m tired and I just want to get back to the book I’m reading and go to bed. (I’m reading “When You Dare” by Lori Foster)

Lately, I’ve noticed an influx of people adding me to their circles on G+. This is cool, I’m all about networking and meeting new people who share the same interests, but so far, none of these new people are making any moves to talk to me. Not one has tagged me in a private post to say something along the lines of, “Hey, I found you and you seemed cool. I’m interested in ___, and saw you where too, so I added you. Hope to talk about ___ with you.”

Sometimes, I look at their profiles and I can see why they  might add me to one of their circles. For example, a writer added me. So it’s clear they added me for the writing, but reading their profile, I’m at a loss as to why they added me. Even if we do have writing in common, there is nothing in my profile (or in my links) that says I’m interested in non-fiction spiritual writing. OK, so that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, but I’m not the one who added this person, therefore, I don’t feel responsible for contacting this person.

The way I see it, if you are really, truly trying to network and utilize social media to it’s strongest potential, you’re going to talk to the people you reach out to. It’s like the few Twitter followers I gain daily. Most of these are bots, and some are just people looking to up their following/follower count. I can tell these people are either bots or just idiots who can’t read, since my profile clearly states that I don’t auto-follow.

Why? Cause I’d like to get to know you first. I’d like to know that you’re actually interested in what I have to say. I judge this by our interaction. If you never talk to me, I won’t know you exist and I won’t RT or share the interesting things you say. If you don’t talk to me from time to time, then I don’t see the point in wasting my time reading what you have to say.

I may not talk to everyone on my Twitter/G+ stream all day, everyday, but I do try to reply to people when they say interesting/funny things. Sometimes, I see someone I haven’t said anything to in a while and I send a quick “Hey, how’s your day?”

People like to feel noticed. It makes them warm and fuzzy inside.

The other day, Suzan wrote a post on not being a douchebag on social media. It’s a fucking brilliant post that everyone should read. She told me about an author contacting her on Goodreads. Suzan, being the cool person she is, added this person as a friend and then proceeded to block this author because the author went into a hard sales pitch for their new book.

Look, people. Sales pitches are fine, they’re even expected from time to time. And done in the right way, sales pitches on social media outlets can really boost your sales. But you should really get to know your audience before you start peddling your pages. Talk to people first. Then casually mention that you’re new book just released.


Social media can really help a writer (or anyone for that matter) with sales, but only if you’re engaging with your audience. Don’t just talk about your writing and your book. Talk about other aspects of your life too. My Twitter stream is full of talk about me writing, yes, but it’s also about books I read, knitting, Doctor Who, Harry Potter, being pregnant and living overseas.

You are more than just your writerly persona. People may find you because you are a writer, but they stick around because you are so much more. But they’ll only know that if you talk to them.

Social Media Homework Of The Day: Go forth and talk to people. Learn something new about someone.

What some social media behaviors that make you not want to follow/friend someone?

2 responses

  1. some things that make me unfollow people?

    hey! did you check out my new book?
    posted five minutes ago

    hey! did you check out my new book?
    posted twenty minutes ago

    hey! did you check out my new book?
    posted an hour ago

    THAT. Pretty much exactly what Suzan said.

    July 25, 2011 at 11:17 pm

    • Yea, Suzan hit a lot of bad behaviors right on the nose with that post. Cold selling is usually a good way to get blocked real quickly.

      July 26, 2011 at 7:05 am

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