The Happy Hermit

I’ve been unemployed for nearly a year and a half now.

When Ted came home and told me I could quit Starbucks and that he would be able to take care of the bills and whatnot, I was ecstatic. At that point Starbucks was a terrible working environment. Way, way too stressful.

So I quit and didn’t look back.

And true to his word, Ted took over all the financial stuff. My only focus was school (and knitting). Yes, I am truly blessed to have this man as my husband.

Now, however, I have a growing book addiction to feed. Ted will give me money if I ask for it, but I’m growing restless and want to go back to the time where I could take care of myself and buy things without first having to get money from my husband like he was an ATM machine.

So I want a part-time job.

Difficult, because no one seems to be hiring.

Difficult, because the job will have to be flexible with my school schedule. A problem I had toward the end of working with Starbucks.

Difficult, because during the past year and a half I’ve become somewhat of a happy hermit.

Now, I like going out, I do. But I’m not exactly dripping with the motivation to get up and go. I have things at home that make me happy. I have TV and Netflix, I have my kitchen and baking stuffs, I have an entire closet full of yarn and a pretty decent craft room. I have a new sewing machine. I have soap making stuff, I have a ton of books. I have the internet.

Plus, I hate driving. So why go out?

I don’t necessarily like that I don’t go out a lot, but let’s face it. To go out, you need money. I don’t really have that. I rely on Ted to pay the bills and keep food in the pantry. In return I do housewife-y stuff. I have dinner ready for him, I keep the house clean and the laundry laundered.

Occassionally I ask for a sort of allowance to go buy yarn or books or a happy meal.

And he tells me if I decide I want to work, he’ll be fine with it so long as I keep school first and quit if the job gets too stressful the way Starbucks did. He tells me if I get a job, the money I make is mine to spend on books and yarn.

But no one is hiring.

So I tried some work-from-home things.

I have The Yarn Panda. I have Examiner. I have the possibility of freelance writing.

But the YP is on hiatus until I dye more yarn and have some more inventory. Examiner…well, it’s a neat experience, but $1 an article isn’t exactly a good going rate.

But I’m happy running Yarn Panda (when it’s up, that is) and I’m happy writing, regardless of the minimal pay. My necessities are taken care of. Everything that makes me happy is available in my apartment. So it’s OK that I don’t have a job right now. I’d still like a part time job somewhere, but I’m OK without one. Things could be worse.

Sometimes I get sad that I don’t have a lot of “loose change” to just go out and do a lot of fun stuff. Sometimes I’m a very flaky friend because I agree to go places when I know I don’t have the funds to do so, but I keep hoping that will change and then at the last minute it doesn’t and I have to back out. Other times I agree to go places and then I don’t go because I’ve just been a hermit for so long that I just don’t have enough motivation to get up and go.

I try though. I try to be a good friend so my friends will last. But when you’ve grown up the way I did and your friends change every two or three years like clockwork, you don’t really think about it when suddenly someone is not talking to you and no longer wants to hang out.

But when I’m so happy being a broke hermit holed up in my apartment, how can I manage to go out with friends more often?

For that I’d need a job.

Difficult, because no one is hiring.

Difficult, because I’m happy as a hermit.

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3 responses

  1. Cid

    I get that. It does take money to go out and do things. It’s also really nice to just be at home, alone, doing your own thing. You know you’re more than welcome to come do anything with me – or just come over and hang out. And Ted is an awesome guy – I’m glad you guys are happy 😀

    August 6, 2010 at 3:31 pm

  2. Omg I so get you. Which is the reason I don’t go hang out with you guys for craftyday. Motivation. Not having a job is tough especially when you’re friends are single and go out allll the time :/

    Soo.. I get it.

    August 7, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    • Well, you live in Arlington right? Maybe we can get together sometime. My big thing is I hate driving. Couple that with lack of motivation…and yea, I don’t go a lot of places..

      August 7, 2010 at 7:34 pm

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